Sunday musings

Yesterday I had a flashback to a time where my walls were covered in Lord of the Rings posters and the height of geeky coolness was to know all the lines to the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie by heart. Drink up, me hearties, yo ho. I used to live in my room, quite literally, and I only ever came down for meals or Saturday evening movie nights with my family. I sat underneath the pitched roof of my white plaster room, dreaming myself away, drawing fairies with my tiny Wacom tablet, Joshua, and dabbling in everything from fanfiction writing to poetry. Of the rather more emo sombre kind. I was a strange and awkward creature, chubby and tall, with blue-rimmed glasses and clothes that I preferred much too big rather than revealing in any way. My favourite sweater was big and beige and shapeless. When I dressed up I wore red lipstick, or green eye shadow.

Sometimes I wonder where she went, that girl. The one who always looked at the ground when she walked, in case she would find a four-leaf clover. Who would sit curled up in a corner of the school library with a book during recess, nervously pushing back the cuticles on her right hand when the excitement of the literary action got overwhelming. Who laughed at everything, even if she didn’t get the joke. Especially if she didn’t get the joke. Although, I still do that. When in doubt, laugh. It can’t hurt. Anyway, I am not sure why I am writing this. Nostalgia I suspect. But I will end it here, because I have the sudden urge to put on a large sweater and jump around the room to 3 Doors Down. Which is exactly what I’ll do. 

Fifteen, what an awkward age, eh?